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Do not marry an ill tempered foolish woman
Her companionship is calamity and her children are vagabond

   
 
   
  Wa Bashsher is Saabereen: O Rasoolullaah (saws), you give Glad Tidings-Beshaarat of Paradise to the People who keep Patience in the Time of Calamity
 
 

A man’s half the troubles are gone if his wife is wise, intelligent, considerate and understanding. The easiest solution to a man’s illness and troubles is that his wife should be clever and sincere. Rasoolullaah (saws) says that, “The most excellent blessed wife is one, because of whom her husband finds himself in the least of hardship.” Which means a wife, whose desires, hopes, expectations, demands, clothing and living is as simple as possible and is content with the least of available things.

There was an Israelite man from Bani Isra’eel. He was honest and pious. Using noble and lawful means, he used to ask Allaah Ta’aala for his livelihood. His wife being stupid, senseless and wandering was his misfortune. Retuning home after a day’s of hard work, he would find his wife wandering in the lanes or chit chatting with others in their home. Playing with other girls in lanes or joking and bantering with others. Why do you always object to my behaviour?  Was all that she used to say to her husband whenever he tried to stop her from her bad manners, bad habits and doing stupid things. I do not commit debauchery and treachery as other women do, and do you want me not to do anything for my entertainment?

The man was disturbed because this type of bickering had become a daily routine. One night when the man came home after a day’s hard work, he did not found his wife at home. He himself prepared his meal and because of his tiredness he hastily prepared his bed himself and went to sleep after bolting the door from inside. His wife came home wandering and found the door closed from inside. She shouted to her husband to open the door. The husband woke up from his deep sleep and said to her to go from where she had come; saying just now I am not in a position to open the door for you. Let people know in the morning where you are and where am I, exclaimed the husband.

The wife got very angry and started to yell at him and said that, you know very well that there is a well nearby.  If you do not open the door now, I will jump into that well. Then tell people whatever you like and you will be responsible for my death. She was just fooling him. She took a big stone from near her home, and threw it violently into the well. When the big sound of water splash reverberated from the well, she immediately hide herself behind the wall of her house. When her husband heard the big splash, he guessed that his wife, at last, has jumped into the well.

He panicked, and opening the door he went running to the well so that he could save his wife. But when he was busy and confused in trying to locate her, she took the advantage of the situation and went inside the home and bolted the door from inside. The husband did not find any thing in the well, he was puzzled and many thoughts crossed his mind. With anguish, he returned to his home and tried to open it slowly, but found that the door was bolted from inside.

Wondering he shouted, who has bolted the door of my house? His wife angrily dashed the door from inside and said to him that, “I your wife has closed the door. You were to keep me outside the home, and see now you are outside and I am inside the house. Not my honour, but now it is your honour which will be spoiled.”  Husband asked her to open the door and said that, we will lose our honour because of your foolishness. Wife said, “Now I will open the door only in the morning and when people from around will see where you are, and where am I. Through out the night the husband sat snoozing at the door. At sunrise she went to terrace of the house and yelled loudly so that people residing nearby gathered near her home.

People woke up the husband and asked him what went wrong with his wife? Before the husband could answer, his wife made a scene with her shouting and yelling. “Regrets should be to a husband who betrays a poor woman like me. For so many years I have got no honour in this house. Every desire of mine has been crushed. My husband is always wandering the whole night. Always spending the night in someone else’s places, looking for other woman to entertain him, and to accompany her, and I spent the whole night lonely in distress. You all could see that I am in my own house and my husband is outside.”

People started to discuss the matter and took the husband to the area’s judge and chief.   The wife cunningly convinced her friends to stand witness in her favour. The judge called the wife and heard her case. The wife and her friends together put blame on the husband and thus forced the judge to pronounce a judgment against the husband. The judge gave a ruling that this man is guilty and should be lashed, the dower should be collected from him and he should divorce his wife. The servants of the judge whipped and lashed the man as per the ruling and at last the woman got free after the divorce.

As every vehicle (cart) has two wheels and every coin has two sides, and so this life as a vehicle has two different wheels or characters as husband and wife.  They have their own identity, responsibility, role, respect and no one can separate each other. In their married life to simultaneously bear the burden of comfort and discomfort, happiness and sorrow, sunburn and shelter, sweetness and bitterness, ups and downs, wealth and beggary, prosperity and poverty, progress and degradation, approval and rejection, success and failure, calamity and joy, they should support, succor and satisfy each other in their daily needs and both of them have to be with each other under a single roof as if they are the two wheel of a same vehicle heading towards the single stop of Nobility and Peace.  If one of them becomes weak the other has to gather more strength. They have to carry on knowing each others behavior (conduct) and ignoring each other’s misdeeds and shortcomings. Then only this lively vehicle would be able to reach its destination.

   
 
 
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